To You Out There..

If you “comforted” yourself with dark intentions last night, we are speaking to you out there.

If your problems always lead to thinking about the end, we are speaking to you out there.

If you’ve become more connected to the thoughts in your head, than the world around you, we are speaking to you out there.

If you’re longing for someone to see you, but you run at every opportunity, we are speaking to you out there.

If you understand life from a place of loss, we are speaking to you out there.

If your world is built of barriers and isolation, we are speaking to you there.

If the walls of your mind echo, almost solely with the sounds of your own grief and panic, we are speaking to you out there.

We see you. We know you. We are you.

The “fix” is nothing but a lie in your mind

A spool of dark thread that’s wrapped itself around the light of your mind and is pulling the lid shut

The dark thread is PAIN, DEEP PAIN….UNRESOLVED and UNEXPRESSED.

Now turn and you will see us all, standing there next to you, with tears of recognition rolling down our faces.

You are NOT ALONE.

The lies in your mind are just a dark song with cruel lyrics.

And here you are now, surrounded by a band of warriors who bear the scars of recognition and who sing your true song.

One of truth, one of community, one of sorrow and validation.

One of honor, one of the losses and sacrifices

One of your right to be heard and YOUR RIGHT TO BE HERE

The Code 9 Project

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

https://www.safecallnow.org/

thecode9project@gmail.com (929)244-9911

Published by thecode9project

The Code 9 Project is a national nonprofit whose mission is to educate, train and advocate for the prevention of First Responder PTSD and suicide.

7 thoughts on “To You Out There..

  1. Ups and downs over the years but I have made progress. I’ve learned from my mistakes and realize I have to make a daily effort to stay on the path of healing and peace. Grateful for an amazing support system of family, Code 9 and Save a Warrior! Very blessed even though at times it’s hard to see it. Sometimes I just got to take it one day at a time and getting through the day is a win. I don’t want to be a statistic, a number or leave the ones I love in pain and shock. I don’t want my children to ever think suicide is the answer because I gave in to my demons. We are stronger together and we are not alone!

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  2. I’m looking for insight on helping a friend that is a retired Sheriff that fell off the wagon last week and fell hard. He’s a great guy but an evil, angry drunk that can’t stop. I stayed with him all night last night to sober him up, I’ve never seen someone change like that in my life. We was pretty low and talked about ending it but I got him through that. I’m not a first responder and can’t relate to his demons at all but I want to know how to keep helping him and notice the signs of when he’s going over the cliff.

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    1. What a great friend you are. These are just a few thoughts because I do not know you or your friend but I have certainly been down a lot of roads myself and with my friends. It is so challenging to change how our head views and responds to life but you did just that with your friend, if only for a minute. Those minutes add up so keep them coming. It’s one authentic positive comment at a time, one moment at a time. I do not know your friend, but I’ve found in life that when I am looking at a big pile of shit, no particular pile stands out for removal lol. I just gotta start shoveling and that’s what you did with your friend last night. I see that you left this in September so perhaps your friend is back on the wagon and perhaps not.

      In my work and personal life, I’ve found that it’s the basic habits that keep us (or me) on track and moving positively and not negatively. If I want to assess where I am at, I view my habits. Have I kept them up or not? Am I sleeping at a good time or finding myself binge-watching tv or something like that. Sounds like a small thing but it’s a sign and losing sleep and awareness of the value of it can only go south from there.

      Do I make my bed every day or leave it undone along with half-done laundry. Am I on time for things? All of these things done well are a sign that my head is working in a positive and organized direction. It is just chemistry and we get to work that chemistry like we train in the gym. Youre in charge of it but few bother to teach us that. Crazy huh! This is the first site I’ve seen that focuses on how much you’re in charge of how long we leave a pile of shit unattended. When I fall off on my basic positive habits and timeline, I know that even if I don’t realize it consciously, I must be off somewhere and I work on getting them back in line. It’s a practice not perfect so don’t try to be an all-star level in a day. That is an entirely different type of recipe for disaster. I’ve used that recipe a number of times in life lol.

      Might sound odd to list such simple things but it’s just chemistry. When we start getting negative, we cant organize our crap or stay on point with your personal care program. So creating great morning and evening habits and paying attention to them literally changes our ability to organize and problem solve and connects us to our level of self-respect. The alcohol is often just the final warning sign to pay attention because it went south some time ago.

      Your awareness is frikken awesome and so are your questions! We don’t need to relate personally to someone’s shit to be an amazing friend and support system. We all know what shit smells like in our own way and we’ve all stepped or fallen into it before.

      Keep doing little organized and positive things and help your friends keep doing theirs. One shovel at a time and the shit pile can start minimizing a bit. You can dig for your friend for a bit but sooner or later he’ll have to start digging with you but your story tells me that he’s strong and has the will to dig if he feels it’ll be a benefit. No one knows how much we can remove but we sure as hell know that we can do some good every day.

      I ramble. Hope it helps in some way.

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  3. I was looking on my son’s Face book page and there was a symbol with Project 9 on one of his photos. My son was the officer who was killed January 5, 2020 at Florence Airport in Florence S.C. when he was doing a traffic stop. I was wondering what Project 9 was. Thanks

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